Thursday, February 7, 2013

False Eyeball Popping Out During Court Case Nightmare

Well, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.  All day, my Mom has been laughing about an unsual court case that happened in Philadlephia.  My Mom used to be a legal secretary in Philadelphia.  Anyway, this case included two elements that cause my worst nightmares:

  1. Losing my eye (even if I know exactly where I left it)
  2. Jury trials
So, what happened?  John Huttick knows where he left his eye.  He lost it in a fight in the parking lot of New Princeton tavern.  The case went to the Philadelphia Common Pleas Court.  During the assualt trial against his attacker, Huttick began weeping.  This caused his prostetic blue eye to pop out.  This must happen often to Huttick, because he neatly caught his prostetic eye when it exited his face and became airborne.  However, he is quoted as saying, "I couldn't believe it just popped out."

It's a good thing he caught it.  The false eye cost $3000 (US.)

Meanwhile, the jurors were in a furor.  Grossed out beyond belief, Judge Robert Coleman felt he had no choice but to declare a mistrial.  The offical reason?  For an "unforseen incident."  You have a feeling the judge couldn't wait to say that.

It's nice that my Mom found something to laugh about.  She has a hard life because of her health problems.  But if I hear about that false eyeball popping out during court one more time, I'm going to scream. 

It's not the blindness of losing an eye that scared me, but the pain and the absolute grossness of the whole thing.  When I was a kid, I had a scratched cornea.  I spent a week in a dark room with a wet dishtowel.  When Roddy McDowell got one on the set of A Clowork Orange, he got morphine.  That's how painful a scratched cornea is.  Just the word "cornea" makes me cringe.

Somehow, life owes me a morphine dose.  But I don't want to lose an eye to get it. 

What's your worst nightmare?

Image by Alvimann for morgueFile.



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